the day was grey, it was snowing i wasn’t feeling my best and i didn’t know why
i took off my clothes, rolled out my mat and sat on my feet
i brought my thoughts back to a couple minutes before
“in the bathroom. looking at a body in the glass”
naked, gazing at my tattoos, kissing my own shoulders, saying three words, “…”
finding meaning.
i wanted it. from him.
from myself, from a body.
i wanted to come.
i brought my attention to my breath
i heard footsteps and the turn of a knob
“i’m inspired to get into the bath”
i get up and make my way
the water running on very hot, i close the door behind me
the mirror fogs up, i can see my outline
the tub is occupied
i climb in anyway, trusting that the water will create space for me
i find a spot that doesn’t satisfy
i’m overcome with jealousy
i’m in the water but not fully submerged
i’d like to swim in here
too.
i play along, get into the flow
i surrender and go.